Alessandro Zarelli  

Alessandro Zarelli was the best footballer that never was.  A legend in his own mind.  A great undiscovered talent and the next Roberto Baggio.  An Italian stallion set to light up the world of football. 

Unfortunately, Alessandro Zarelli was also a conman who had the skill set of a two legged donkey.  Not that that prevented him from being feted and signed by clubs in both Ireland and Wales. 

What Alessandro lacked in footballing skill he more than made up for in Latin charm and he was able to get contracts more by his spiel rather than his soccer.   

The alleged great would use a simple strategy to get himself taken on by a club; sent some fake faxes, lie through his teeth, smile a lot, and, when discovered, run like hell leaving a trail of unpaid debts and hordes of disappointed local lasses who all thought they were lined up to be the next Mrs Dolmino.  

Actually, you can’t help but admire the guy whose adventures began in Ireland in 2005 when he rolled up to the New Grosvenor Stadium and straight into the Lisburn Distillery squad. 

Alessandro Zarelli joined Lisburn under a ‘collaboration scheme’ operated by the Italian Football Federation.  Or at least that’s what he told the club.   

It seems extraordinary that no-one actually bothered to check with the Italian FA but, lets face it, if the next Roberto Baggio turns up at your door and says he’s been sent by the IFF, would you turn him away?   

Such was the impact the young Italian made his new club ran an interview on their website in which Zarelli revealed his (bogus) past, “In the summer of 2001 I played at Glasgow Rangers, but at 16 years-of-age I got very homesick and my parents felt I was too young at that stage to be away so I went home after three months. 

“I then completed my educational studies before going to Sheffield Wednesday in 2003 but I was only there for four months during which time I broke my leg and that finished my time at Hillsborough.  Back in Italy I played for AC Asti.”   

The article ended with the news that Alessandro Zarelli would be given the chance to build up his fitness in the second team “before he comes into contention for a first-team place.”  It never happened.   

The Italian stallion was sent packing for a ‘breach of club discipline’ only to turn up in Wales were he tried to repeat the performance at both Connahs Quay and Bangor City, again leaving bemused club officials counting the cost.

His secret was only discovered when Bangor manager Peter Davenport took the sensible step of ringing a friend at Sheffield Wednesday who, of course, had never heard of the would be Italian superstar.